Shenanigans of a Missing Nin
by Crushed Taco
Summary: Summary: In a story that is definitely original and has certainly not been done a million times written by an author that totally takes his writing seriously, our favorite blond wakes up one night and decides to leave. With little experience outside of Konoha's walls and not a single fuck to give, Naruto is now free to put his plans in motion! whatever those end up being...


Summary: In a story that is _definitely _original and has certainly _not_ been done a million times written by an author that _totally_ takes his writing seriously, our favorite blond wakes up one night and decides to leave. With little experience outside of Konoha's walls, an irritable fox with a penchant for swearing, and not a single fuck to give, Naruto is now free to follow his new dreams… whatever those might be… eh, he'll figure it out later.

xXx

Naruto awoke with a groan. He felt like shit. The covers shifting to his left caught his attention, but the sudden painful jolt in his neck told him that had been a bad idea.

Scratch his last statement. Even shit didn't feel this bad. What had he done last night?

He pulled down the blanket and stared at the very pretty, and _very_ naked, brunette.

"Oh yeah, that's right."

The door slid open and Naruto looked up, fully expecting a second bedmate- it wouldn't be the first time he brought two with him, but the crimson locks that greeted him only managed to inspire panic in him.

"Karin?"

"Morning." the redhead stated, fully dressed with her arms crossed and wearing a mildly amused expression.

"Did we…" he gulped, "did we sleep together last night?"

"Don't be an idiot," she replied, "I'm way too good for you." she adjusted her glasses giving him a once over. "And besides you're far from my type." She didn't care enough to listen to his mumbled response though she knew it was something along the lines of "Yeah well your not my type either." instead of walking to the nearest window to pull back the curtains filling the dulled room with blinding- at least to him- light.

"Bright!" the blond whimpered, attempting to use his hand to shield himself from the light. Attempting to the keyword. The still unconscious brunet stirred.

"Whos she?" the redhead asked.

Before the blond could reply a stray beam of light caught reflected off of her left hand, and for the second time that morning Naruto had to crush the panic in his chest. '_Of course, she would be married.' _he thought though he chose to ignore the tidbit of information for now. This wasn't _his_ problem, at least it didn't have to be. "I have no idea. Whoever she is she's cute though."

She rolled her eyes in response. "Well you better hope her husband doesn't find out about this," she said, motioning to the ring that was glaring at them in the sun. "Besides we should have left days ago. In case that brain of yours had a malfunction we've already been here for a week."

He sat up to cross his arms and legs, eyes closed in his traditional thinking pose. Yukagakure, the Land of Hot Water, was world-renowned for its hot springs, bringing tourists that would travel from halfway across the world to soak in their legendary waters. The population was leagues ahead of anywhere they usually went, usually staying clear away from any of the denser locations- more eyes to see them there- but Naruto had an informant that he knew would be there this time of year. It wasn't nearly as connected as Jiraiya's ring of spies, a network like that would take many _many_ years to build up, but the old pervert managed to teach the blond a thing or two about making allies for his own ring of spies, a skill that the then 17-year-old found was invaluable after he left.

They had managed to track him down, a man by the name of Raika, and were rewarded with information that was one part a relief and two parts troubling; the Nibi had gone missing. It didn't take either Uzumaki's much to figure out _why_ it was missing, though whether or not Raika was as knowledgeable to know about Akatsuki or their goal was beyond them.

On one hand, Akatsuki was still very early in their operation, only two out of nine Bijuu now in their possession meaning they were still a long ways away from needing the Kyuubi. But one the other _heavier_ hand they had found out too late to save the Nibi and its jinchuriki, and regardless of how far away Akatsuki may have been, they _were_ gaining on them.

The next bit of information, and possibly more troubling than the first, told of the location of the Sanbi, and if Raika knew where the three tails was… so did Akatsuki, and that meant they were now in a race with them to find it.

Unfortunately, the situation wasn't as simple as just running over there, taking the Sanbi, and then running off in a cloud of dust before Akatsuki could show up. For one thing, there was no guarantee they would even beat Akatsuki there, and handing them two Bijuu was, for obvious reasons, a disaster waiting to happen. Not to mention he still hadn't finished his 'project' to contain the beast. He couldn't just walk up to it, wave his hands in a display of false magic, and make the thing crawl in the deepest darkest trench and just stay there forever.

He combed his fingers through his golden locks before giving a deep sigh. The whole situation gave him a headache- part of why he had a 'cuddle buddy last night. Even he needed an outlet to relieve the stress.

Of course, he would never tell Karin, not in a million years, that he was working this hard, and especially not that he was stressed. He would never hear the end of it.

"Bah! One more day," he finally said. "We're in the land renowned for its hot springs. We might as well enjoy ourselves as much as we can get away with. And besides, "he continued, a lecherous grin threatening to split his face in two, "the women here are _fine_" he finished pulling himself from the bed- Karin giving mental thanks that he had boxers on, and rushed to get dressed- the orange jumpsuit had been replaced long ago, a black T-shirt with a jacket that always changed to match the surroundings over it. A pair of black pants finished the attire.

Hey say what you want but there's a reason ninja dress in black.

"Now if you don't mind, " he continued, his hand resting on the door handle. "There's a bar resting on the corner of a very sleazy part of town that's calling my name." he ignored Karin's eye-roll to pull the door open, thoughts of women and boo's replaced instead with confusion at the sight of a man who obviously had a bone to pick with him.

He blinked at the man once. "Can I help you?"

The man's voice came out in a low growl. "Wheres Ruto?"

The blond blinked at the man again. Ruto? He had heard that name somewhere. It was on the tip of his tongue. Who did he know by that name? A terrible cold suddenly made itself known in his spine, and the blond's eyes darted to the man's ring finger… and unsurprisingly a gold band, too tight by the looks of it, was glaring back at him.

"nopenoRutohere." whether or not the man understood his sped up jibberish or not he didn't wait long enough to find out before slamming the door in his face. A moment later he turned to Karin a blank expression in place, and very _calmly_ and _without_ even a hint of panic in his voice he said, "Time to go."

000

Authors Notes: well how did I do? Before you ask this story will have a plot, though for the most part, it will be just a bunch of nonsense. My other, more complex, stories are still only half baked which is why I haven't started any of them. But I really wanted to get something out there for people to see so I just started…. Writing. As I kept writing a plot was starting to develop and viola! The first chapter was born! Hopefully, this story lands me a tiny bit of publicity, that way when I do finally get started on my other, more serious, stories they'll get more attention. anyways thank you for reading this first chapter! Let me know how it went! ^_^


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